In this programme we will supply you with the ideas and support to help you take a break from sex so that you have time to reassess that part of your life.
Sometimes sex can become compulsive. That means we keep having it without thinking about what we want from it and whether we are really enjoying it. Taking a short break from sex can allow us to take some time to reflect on what we what from sex and how to communicate that to our partners. It can also be a chance to invest in other areas of life perhaps by spending more time with family and friends, or developing other hobbies or interests.
Once you have decided that you want to take a break, the next step is to make a plan. Set a date when you want to start and how long you would like your break to last. Give yourself some time before to set some aims of what you’d like to get from your break, and what areas of life you would like to focus on. Focus first on small steps which are realistic and achievable. We have put together some advice on how set some goals here:
http://prime.dean.st/2018/09/03/focusing-on-new-goals-and-dreams
Hook-up apps like Grindr and Scruff have become integral to the daily lives of gay men in London. For many people they are exciting and fun, but when sex has become compulsive, the ease and accessibility of hook-up apps can become part of the problem. Mindfulness is a technique to help us increase our awareness of our experiences as they happen. It might not seem immediately obvious to how thus can be applied to our interaction with hook-up apps, so our psychologist Anne-Marie explains how here:
A break from sex could be an opportunity to learn and new skill, or get back into something that you used to enjoy but haven’t had the time to focus on for a while. It might be a good chance to meet other LGBTQ+ people outside of a sexualised context. Here are a few ideas:
Beboyz
From the team behind Boyz magazine, Beboyz is a friendship website based on shared interests
London Front Runners
Running and triathlon club for LGBTQ+ Londoners and their allies
Gay Outdoor Club
Welcomes all who enjoy walking, swimming, cycling and other outdoor activities
London Gay Symphony Orchestra
For musicians of all sexualities performing 5 concerts a year
Pink Singers
The longest-running LGBT+ choir in Europe!
Chems are psychoactive substances used to enhance sexual pleasure and reduce inhibitions. Many of those who use chems find them very manageable; for those who don’t, we have lots of support available. Whether you just want to be better informed about chems or stop completely, you can find the help you need here.
